Sunday, January 31, 2010
{ 7:58 AM }
guess im all alone again .
im really upset .
sick , waited , hoping .
get nothing in return .
i'll be okae soon .
forgive and forget .
but still hurt inside .
haishh .
{ 7:52 AM }
been sick for 3days .
ate all kinda of medic .
nthing seems to change .
too lazy for doc .
nak ddk kat kosi satu jam pon tkleh , mesti kene baring .
sakit pasal nk stop rkk . i really do .
getting older , need to think bout my inner body now .
my parents too .
dearest make a promise that we will stop together .
really feeling weak now .
waiting for dearest to online . so that he cn teman me .
really need him now . someone to make me smile atleast :)
okae luh . bbye .
Friday, January 22, 2010
{ 11:00 AM }
giving advice .
show ppl wad love means .
ask them to stay strong .
hav faith .
talk nicely to your partner .
saying no prob cant be solve .
hah . look at me ? i myself weak at all this . gone thru too much lies , backstabbing , unfaithful .
what do you guys want from a lady ?
what do you need from them ?
a girl wld cry when you scolded her . and she wld cry when she scolded you too .
how much you break her heart she still there staying strong for you , for the love .
you said "i love you " she replied " i miss you " bcoz she needs you at that point of time .
you said sorry , she wld remain silent for few mins . wondering why ? she's crying . saying ily in her heart .
she ask for a break up , but actually , she didnt mean it . if she did , she wld be swearing you .
she says "i hate you " but wad really means was . i hate you for making me loving you this much .
if she really wanted a break up , she wont even be having a convo wif you , she wont reply to your text msg . she wld just ignore and do her stuff .
she wld starve herself just to see you eat .
she wld wait for you , till you get back home .
she wld just waste her money on you , just to make you happy .
she wld do anyting even get a scolding from her parents for you .
she dnt mind sneaking out at night take a cab come over to your place just to see you .
just to feel you . just to hug you . just to make sure you get every single thing you need in her . make sure you get enough attention and spend time wif you and your frens .
to me , i dnt give up in love . unless it involve a third party . doesnt mean i said break up , i really want it . but , if you agreed and left me .... i wont turn back cos you did leave me .
the one who really love me , is the one who noe me the best .
i wld be okae . i just need my two sisters wif me . i need their hugs . their shoulders to cry on . i really do .
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
{ 12:51 PM }
mum sleeping at living room . she dnt want me to go out mlm2 -.-
its not like im going clubbing or wad . lepak sia .
and now , i cnt even smoke in my room .
pasal mum will bau .
you guys.... really uhhh .
look . now im sick !
thnx to you both ! mum and dad !
its like 5am in the morning .
cnt even sleep this few days .
sakit peh pasal .
pening , demam , seme2 .
fking bored !
nk kua . tkd duit !
kat ruma for the whole 4 days ?!
tk turon bwh pon !
gado wif parents peh pasal .
PLS ! someone ! ajak saya klua !!!
tapi tkmo jauh2 uh ! haha !
Labels: mendak much
Sunday, January 10, 2010
{ 10:00 AM }
{ 9:42 AM }
Would you just listen and please don't say a word .
I'd like you to think back to the very first time we met .
How you felt around me ? The memories we shared .
And just remember that once upon a time, you really cared .
You were a special part of my life that I will never forget .
A part of my life that broke my heart, but that I don't regret .
You gave me some happy memories that I'll keep in my heart .
You weren't there when desperation and emptiness accompanied me .
Tears falling down , and no one around me .
I Need You , My Silly Boy .
Labels: my silly boy
Wednesday, January 6, 2010
{ 10:10 AM }
woke up 11am . nad woke me up by her call .
Den called dearest , he was at school aldy . jln2 carik class . haha
few mins ltr he called me bck . "aby , siap uh . ktr kua " hahaha .
nmpk sah da tk larat nk carik class . haha .
teros siap . met him at pair ris inter , den walk to downtown . dearest dpt gaji .
he cnt really save his own money -.- . nak spend je . we went bowling , me 3 game , he 4 game .
feeling2 pro luh dekni . nk try2 lempah curl . haha .
den , we go subway . tapau .
go makan at tempat laen .
mcm biase , dearest tk leh ddk bersila . found it funny and cute at the same time . hahaa .
den , we go tngk wayang . AVATAR 3D ! not bad luh . best jgk . paling tk suke , tat 3d spec . freaking pening sia wearing tat thing . jap bukak . jap pakai .
den , we go jln balek to whitesand . dearest wanna buy his school bag .
and yea . the whole day he spend his money on me .
kinda not fair tho . not used to it . i wld just lie if someone wanna spend money on me . tk kira aper luh , makan or wad . tk biase . wish i cld hav ard 30bucks on my wallet tadi . can buy for him another school bag . but , ppfftt ! i only hav 10bucks . gado ngan ibu -.-
den we balek .
at times , i just cnt stop looking at him . his silly looks . laughter . smile . or just sitting beside me reading newspaper in the bus . i wld just stare at him . wish he cld fell my heart . wish he cld hear wad my heart trying to say . wish he cld feel my heart beating faster wheneva he hold my hand .
we do argue over stupid stuff , fights , misunderstanding . well , which couple dont ? its normal tho . i do get angry , pissed off , sad , terrified , cried , till my mom keep knocking on my door . haha . but knw matter wad , he shld noe that im not leaving . i need to face all this , learn my mistake and take a new step again . we hav a life time together :D
"tengs pho evali tengs" (thanks for everyting ) dearest . i cherish every moment wif you .
Monday, January 4, 2010
{ 8:55 AM }
there this one kind of feeling im having now .
no idea what it is yet .
i felt like i was trapped in those terrifying nightmare .
But this aint a dream .
my heart is like giving up in everything .
schools , jobs , emptiness etc .
i just simply don't know .
i need that special magic in me bck .
i miss everything .
i really do .
im like one rotten human at home doing nothing but to do housework and get worried bout stuff .
i need my happiness back .
mum , pls stop saying bad stuff bout me to our relative . i dont like it . no one do .
and dad , i miss you .
hilmi , i've been loving more each day passes by .
i need you to be with me , accompany me .
be my friend , bestfriend , brother , dad & a husband .
you're my only hope to make me smile every single day .
you're my only hope to feel im needed in this word .
Dearest , im trying to save something . something precious .
Im mad bout myself .
Cried badly till my lungs gonna burst .
It gave me this excited feeling everytime i get to meet you .
And yet it gave me this loneliness feeling when i had to go home without you with me .
I get worried .
Hope i wont lose you .
I'll pray for you , me & us .
I always do .
I Love You , Dzulhilmi .
